The prayer in Gethsemane shows that the preceding anxiety is equally God's will and equally part of our human destiny. The perfect Man experienced it. And the servant is not greater than the Master.
Dear Gethsemannie,
I need to confess something that's been bothering me: I am worried I don’t know how to pray. What makes it worse is that I keep falling asleep while praying. It happened twice just the other day! I feel so embarrassed. Everyone says prayer is how we connect with God– the more I do it, the closer I'll feel. But honestly, it feels like I'm talking to a wall. Is that what they mean by a “prayer closet”? Am I doing something wrong?
My friends are trying to be supportive. One of them even told me how they prayed for peace, and their prayer was answered! This was supposed to reassure me and prove that God is real. I can’t remember the last time a prayer request I had was answered. Does answered prayer actually prove God's existence? I'm starting to doubt.
The hardest thing to admit is, I don’t feel close to God at all. It seems like everyone else has this amazing, special connection. Maybe it’s because they are holier than me? Maybe they are one of God's favorites? Does God even have favorites?
Honestly, I'm just tired. Tired of trying to pray and not feeling or experiencing anything. I don't even know what to say anymore. Do you have any prayers that have actually worked for you? I'm desperate for some kind of guidance.
Blessings,
Prayer Worrier
Dear Prayer Worrier,
You are not the only one with a low “success” rate. I have been praying my whole life, and let me tell you–there have been more swings and misses than I’d like to admit. Not sure there are too many cheat codes with this one. It can be frustrating… especially when we approach prayer like a vending machine that dispenses our favorite snacks. Side note: Am I the only one who has resorted to shaking it violently when your snack doesn’t drop? Asking for a friend…
Please keep in mind–every prayer is filled with some type of request, but a request is not a guarantee of anything. Another way to think about requests: if you only talked to your friends when you needed something, you probably wouldn’t feel a deep connection with them either.
Do you remember the account of Jesus and his closest disciples praying in the garden the night he was betrayed? Jesus started praying and his buddies fell fast asleep, twice. That’s like having your pastor ask everyone in the congregation to bow their heads and…7 minutes later…she finds everyone's heads bobbing up and down. Can you even imagine?! Perhaps, what’s even harder to grasp about this account, is the fact that God didn’t answer Jesus’ prayer that night either.
Come on, Prayer Worrier! If the Son of God’s request “please, not this cup” went straight to voicemail, there is no way God has favorites.
It was nice to hear about your friend's experience of finding peace through prayer - how wonderful! It is so comforting to find support when we need it. But don’t get me started on the "if prayer works, God exists" logic. By that standard, Jesus's garden-variety (pun intended) prayer fail would have the atheists throwing a "told-you-so" party.
Prayer Worrier, I would advise not letting your faith (or God) be handcuffed to the account of your divine interventionist status (or anyone else's for that matter).
Maybe the next time you are with your buds, instead of reporting on how "productive" your prayers are, try being brutally honest with them about what is going on in your life. You know, like Jesus did that night in the garden. Jesus longed for comfort that night, and he was honest about that with his friends. That type of vulnerability always challenges me to bring my whole self to my relationships.
Prayer Worrier, if you’re looking for a tip, this is the only cheat code I have found in my faith - when I am being fully myself and honest with others, it feels sacred to me, like a divine connection!
“Where two or three gather in my name, there I am with them.” ~Matthew 18:20
Prayerfully,
Gethsemannie
Author Anonymous