Wading into Lent

I don’t know what it is about Lent that always seems to sneak up on me. Perhaps it is that I am just now getting over the guilty feeling of failing my new year resolutions. Or maybe it is the feeling of not wanting to diminish the notion that spring is bubbling up around me. I sit to write. The melted snow and ice droplets fall from the roof as I look out the window. Isn’t Spring around the corner?

I live and work in a rural community in Western Montana. If you told me a few weeks ago that Lent was starting, I don’t think I would have been nearly as surprised. It was cold, dark, dreary, and we were buried in a few feet of snow. I couldn’t enjoy my favorite hobby, fly fishing, as most of the waters near me are closed to fishing during the winter months. I suppose the trout and native whitefish need a break as well. The snow and ice melt, the rivers and streams will begin to swell, the bugs will begin to hatch and those picturesque moments of trout leaping out of the water to eat winged bugs will be here soon.

But not without Lent.

I often wonder what it is that trout do when I am not trying to trick them into thinking my fake bug is a real bug. In this cold time of year, the trout go do the deepest pools in the slowest waters and eat on the tiniest river bugs called midges. And they do whatever else it is that fish do. Surprisingly, these deep pools are the most oxygen-rich water a trout can be in. To me, it sounds like the trout are participating in Lent. I’ve found again and again the season of Lent to be a time of self examination, of fasting and prayer, of giving up things like certain foods, distractions, or behaviors, to reexamine my life of faith. I ask for help to identify the areas places of my life that run against the current of grace. I am reminded of my earthiness and imagine ways of being and becoming more human again. What are the areas where bias, pride, and judgement have taken hold? How can I release them?

This is a season of drawing near, going deep, and breathing again. Drawing near to the Spirit of God, going to the deeper pools of solitude, retreat, fasting, self-examination, and seeking forgiveness for the things I have done and the things I have left undone. The time will come for jumping for joy, and yet here we are in Lent. We are longing for the resurrection joy, the Easter miracle, the celebration that comes with a life in Christ, and yet here we are in Lent. While the fish are in the deep pools, may I find myself in the pools of grace, where stillness meets transformation. Lent is a time of preparation, not just ritual for ritual’s sake, it is intentional waiting to create the space for transformation in ourselves and in our communities.